Henry September 7, 2009

Oh Henry.

I used to sleep over at your house with your daughter in Jr. High and High School. Her and I were the best of friends, yet I secretly had a huge crush on you. If I would have known what I knew now – oh dear, how things would be different.

You found me on Facebook and we chatted back and forth for a few days. Finally, you got a bit drunk and sent me an innapropraite email that intruiged me. It basically said that I’ve always been quite attractive to you, and you would love to take me out sometime soon and act like we didnt know eachother when I was a mere child. You know what that means to me Henry? Instant control.

I showed up to your house, purposefully dressed to kill, and you let me in with a glass of vino waiting for me. We went to dinner, I acted like we had the same interests, you suggest we go on a trip sometime soon. I play coy and leave without a hug or a kiss – only because I know this will kill you and make you want to see me again more than ever.

You dropped off a present at my work along with a thoughtful card – how did you know I like Nordstroms? 🙂 I promptly returned said item, I want the money, not your gifts. I didnt respond to your gift for 3 days until you asked if I got it. “Oh, the Nordstroms box? Of course I did. Thank you so much, how thoughtful.” and that was enough. You see, Im well aware youre trying to impress me, but I dont want you to think you have me just yet.

Fast forward 5-6 more dates where I havent let you lay a hand on me. We go out, dance…drink…men compliment you on your VERY younger girlfriend, you love it. I convince you that going back to your house would be trouble, you tell me the W (hotel) is another option. We stay there, I order massive amounts of room service and champagne (as to test your financial limits) and you love it. I finally fuck you like you want, and you moan at the fact I have the perfect skin. Im 27, of course I do you idiot.

We wake, I order more service. THEN, you opt to divulge to me that you have to take viagra. I use this to my advantage. Do you think you can keep me having the knowledge that you require a pill to get hard? I know you like to fuck, and trust me, I feel quite bad that your “blue vitamin” is the only way you can, but regardless, Im an asshole and will own this.

Its been a month now, Im almost done with you. Thanks for the gifts and the nice thoughts that I fucked a friends father, but our time is done. You’ve recently sent me a message asking if there is another “suitor” in my life. Oh dear….what would be the benefit of telling you? I like your money.

How it all started – the HS sweetheart

We meet when Im in 10th grade, and Im immediately enthralled. Looking back you were a loser, you played football but dropped out when the season ended. 15 year old girls like myself are foolish and continue to think youre cool, but youre not.

I would have done anything for you. And did. Your ex wanted to beat me up, you said I was fat (I was quite skinny), I couldnt do any better, your parents didnt like me – you would have said anything to lower my self esteem, and it worked. I followed you like a lap dog, even catching you cheating on occasion. One in particular you took me to a co-workers party, I couldnt locate you for awhile only to find you on the porch kissing a younger girls neck. I didnt say a word until we walked out to your car, then I punched you in the face breaking your nose. You then tell all of your friends that youre in an abusive relationship and that I am a mean person, I feel horrible and want to rectify this thinking that I obviously over-reacted. We stayed together for a few months after, you inviting me on a trip only to cancel saying that it was “family only”.

What I find out.

You were having sex with someone much younger, I think thats considered rape “Bill”. Actually, it WAS. I find her number and call to ask her whats going on, she tells me everything. We show up to your basketball game, the one you played weekly with men that could actually graduate HS and kick the shit out of your POS honda.

That was the best thing that ever happened to me. You recently found me on facebook, youve been married twice in 6 years and now have 2 kids with 2 different women. Youre balding. You still work at the hotel doing roomservice. Youre *giggle* – a huge loser. You changed me, after all of this happened I wanted to know what it felt like to cheat, and now I cant stop. The difference is I have yet to get pregnant, I make a ton of money, and will always be gorgeous. You sir, are nothing anymore.

This warms my heart.