Luke September 9, 2009

Hrm. Luke.

Met you at a bar, I was actually on a “date” with Brian and I started dancing with you and secretly bought you a drink. We’ve been on two dates now in 2 weeks, and I’m not sure I like that. Sure, I am busy with the others, but youre supposed to be calling me incessently with a strong desire to see me soon. Is it you playing hard to get, or are you uninterested? I prefer not to think that you are uninterested, because Im not used to that. No one is uninterested in me, so therefore, youre my new project. Im going to make sure you fall hard for me, now I just have to figure out how.

We’ve got a date coming up this Friday, HOW do I get you to be smitten? I’ve looked at your Facebook thouroughly, yet I still cant figure you out. You’re not even that hot, so Im still shocked that youre not chasing me. I mean, youre cute, but…Ive certainly done better. You drive a Honda for God sakes. A HONDA. I shouldnt be milling about this, but yet I find that I constantly do.

Fuck, I need to hurry up and get back to work SOON – or things like this will consume me. Ive seen the new men that I will be working with, and they are all gorgeous. Perhaps I need to start being too busy around you, not reply to texts so rapidly. Yes. Go out with a few guy friends, post pictures on Facebook ….

Its all coming together now. Mind you, I have a date with Brian on Thursday, a day before I see you. I had to cancel on him today and he claimed that I would be “punished” on Friday because I “owe him big.” Hrm. I like that….I think its time I fuck his brains out. Maybe leave something secretly behind for his girlfriend to see. Maybe 🙂

Henry September 7, 2009

Oh Henry.

I used to sleep over at your house with your daughter in Jr. High and High School. Her and I were the best of friends, yet I secretly had a huge crush on you. If I would have known what I knew now – oh dear, how things would be different.

You found me on Facebook and we chatted back and forth for a few days. Finally, you got a bit drunk and sent me an innapropraite email that intruiged me. It basically said that I’ve always been quite attractive to you, and you would love to take me out sometime soon and act like we didnt know eachother when I was a mere child. You know what that means to me Henry? Instant control.

I showed up to your house, purposefully dressed to kill, and you let me in with a glass of vino waiting for me. We went to dinner, I acted like we had the same interests, you suggest we go on a trip sometime soon. I play coy and leave without a hug or a kiss – only because I know this will kill you and make you want to see me again more than ever.

You dropped off a present at my work along with a thoughtful card – how did you know I like Nordstroms? 🙂 I promptly returned said item, I want the money, not your gifts. I didnt respond to your gift for 3 days until you asked if I got it. “Oh, the Nordstroms box? Of course I did. Thank you so much, how thoughtful.” and that was enough. You see, Im well aware youre trying to impress me, but I dont want you to think you have me just yet.

Fast forward 5-6 more dates where I havent let you lay a hand on me. We go out, dance…drink…men compliment you on your VERY younger girlfriend, you love it. I convince you that going back to your house would be trouble, you tell me the W (hotel) is another option. We stay there, I order massive amounts of room service and champagne (as to test your financial limits) and you love it. I finally fuck you like you want, and you moan at the fact I have the perfect skin. Im 27, of course I do you idiot.

We wake, I order more service. THEN, you opt to divulge to me that you have to take viagra. I use this to my advantage. Do you think you can keep me having the knowledge that you require a pill to get hard? I know you like to fuck, and trust me, I feel quite bad that your “blue vitamin” is the only way you can, but regardless, Im an asshole and will own this.

Its been a month now, Im almost done with you. Thanks for the gifts and the nice thoughts that I fucked a friends father, but our time is done. You’ve recently sent me a message asking if there is another “suitor” in my life. Oh dear….what would be the benefit of telling you? I like your money.